A few years ago, a pastor-friend helped me see how fear was sabotaging my life. Ironically, I discovered that the fear doing the most damage was rooted in religion. You can read more about this part of my spiritual journey in the first few posts of this blog series. Today, I want to explore what the Bible says is our secret weapon against fear: perfect love (1 John 4:18).
The Reality of Trauma-Based Anxiety
First, though, I want to acknowledge that fear can bury itself deep in our subconscious and manifest in our bodies in ways that seem beyond our control. This type of fear is typically rooted in severe trauma and may require professional care and treatment, including physician-prescribed medication.
Please do not let anything I say here prevent you from seeking necessary medical or mental health care from a qualified provider. But the reality of such deeply rooted, trauma-induced anxiety need not prevent us from looking together at the nature of fear, how fear manifests, and ultimately, how fear is conquered by perfect love.
Fear Reflects Our Deepest Beliefs about What Can Harm Us
Fear is a powerful emotion, and like every emotion, it reflects our deepest (subconscious) beliefs—the beliefs we hold without question. The emotion of fear reflects a subconscious belief that our current situation places us in significant danger—either physically, psychologically, spiritually, or some combination.
The opposite of fear is feeling safe. A feeling of safety reflects our deep belief that nothing about our current situation is likely to cause us significant harm.
The Rationality of Fear versus Irrational Belief
Fear, then, is an emotional response to our belief that we are in danger. Sometimes, we have an obvious reason to believe we are in danger. If we have fallen out of an airplane at 15,000 feet without a parachute, then any fear we may be feeling is at least rational.
Other times, though, fear may seem irrational. I remember when I was five or six being in a K-Mart auto service center with my dad, when a lady walked in and started to search in her purse. In that moment, for some unknown reason, I believed she was searching for a pistol and was going to commit armed robbery. I ran as fast I could—out of the service station and into the store. When my dad finally caught up to me—I had left him in my dust—he said, “What are you doing?” I said, “I thought she had a gun.”
For a long time, I thought that flight reaction was the result of an irrational fear. But now I see that—like every fear—my fear was perfectly rational. It was a reasonable emotional response to my belief that the lady had a gun and was about to commit a crime. It wasn’t my fear that was misguided; it was my belief. My incorrect belief led me to react in fear when there was no real danger. The antidote to that fear was to know, as my dad assured me, I was perfectly safe.
Fear is always rational. If we find ourselves feeling afraid, we should check our environment to determine what might be triggering our fear. At the same time, we should be aware that the fear may be “in our head,” meaning that it is based on an incorrect belief.
The Innacurate Beliefs that Fueled My Spirit of Fear
When we are gripped by a spirit of fear and anxiety, we can be sure that it is a rational response to our deepest beliefs. You can’t effectively address the fear without recognizing and addressing the subconscious beliefs triggering it. As I began to dig for the subconscious beliefs that were the root of my limiting fears, here are some of the limiting beliefs I found:
- God’s love for me is conditional. There are any number of things I can believe, feel, or do that will cause God to reject me—in the worst way possible.
- God can provide for me, if he wants, but he probably won’t, because he wants me to provide for myself.
- God can protect me, if he wants, but he probably won’t, because he wants me to be sensible and look out for myself.
- God can heal me, if he wants, but he doesn’t usually do that kind of thing. He prefers that we learn from suffering.
- God wants what’s best for me, but only to the degree that it brings him glory and helps him accomplish his mission.
Maybe you recognize some of your own beliefs in the list above. These beliefs are limiting, because they place limits on what we believe God is able or willing to do for us. Honestly, most of us know humans who are more loving than the God reflected in this set of beliefs.
The Secret Weapon against Fear
The reason many of us struggle with fear is that we’ve been taught to believe in a God who loves imperfectly. It’s not that we don’t have faith or don’t believe; it’s that we do believe—to the core of our being—in a God whose love has strict limits, terms, and conditions.
To conquer fear, I realized I needed a secret weapon. I needed to replace my deep belief in a God who loves imperfectly with a belief in infinite divine love—and to let that new belief become a core part of my personal operating system.
How to do that is the subject of next week’s post.
Next post – Why Religious Conversion Sticks—or Doesn’t