I want to say a word to the men about this nurturing business, although I’m sure the women will not mind what I have to say.
Most of us have heard, in some form or another, that the basic function of the man in a marriage is to provide and protect, and the basic function of the woman is to nurture. There may be a grain of truth there, but it’s not the whole truth. Men are also designed to be nurturers. (And women are providers and protectors too, but that’s a topic for another day.)
When God placed the perfect man, Adam, in the garden, He gave him a job to do: “to work it and keep it” (Genesis 2:15 ESV).
Caring for a garden is nurturing work. You can’t simply order a plant to grow; it won’t listen. You have to give it a healthy environment, provide what it needs, care for it, and protect it from predators.
Ancient Israel’s greatest leader was David, the shepherd-king. Later Jesus, the perfect man, was called the Good Shepherd (John 10:14), a title that hardly fits with our culture-imprisoned idea of the “manly man.” To be a shepherd is to be a nurturer. It requires patient attending to the flock under your care.
The apostle Paul said the perfect man is one who demonstrates, among other things, patience, kindness, goodness, and gentleness (Galatians 5:22—23). These are nurturing traits that are produced in us by the Holy Spirit.
So, my message to the guys is this: Learning to nurture does not make you less of a man; it makes you a man to be uniquely admired and honored.
If you want to make a sustainable marriage, become a master gardener. Be the world’s foremost expert on nurturing your wife and marriage.
You can do this.
Continue the series: Should Men Be Submissive to Their Wives?