We are a nation of consumers. Our nation’s economy depends on people buying more and more stuff. If our patterns of consumption slow down, there is panic from Wall Street to Main Street. When our nation is at war, we are only asked to “sacrifice” by continuing to go shopping.
Our consumer mindset shapes everything we do:
Don’t like the place where you live? Move to another neighborhood, city, or state.
Is your house too small? Sell it and get a bigger one.
Is your smartphone a couple of years old? Stand in line to get a new one.
Does your job get on your nerves? Start searching for a new career.
Does your church put you to sleep? There are several more in town to choose from. Start shopping.
Is your marriage not everything you hoped it would be? Well, then, you can always start over again with somebody else.
In our culture, marriage is given both too much significance and too little.
It is given too much significance in that we place on it all our unrealistic hopes and expectations for a life filled with endless joy and happiness.
It is given too little significance in that, once we have committed to a marriage, we consider it disposable if it fails to meet our expectations or breaks our heart in some way.
I wrote this series about sustainable marriage on the assumption—which I hope is not a naïve one—that many people still believe in the value of permanence in marriage. Many people still hope to experience a marriage that lasts.
So here they are one more time.
Habit 1 – Seven Ways to Cultivate Affection in Your Marriage
Habit 2 – Seven Signs of Mutuality In a Marriage
Habit 3 – Seven Ways to Seek Virtue in Your Marriage
Habit 4 – Seven Key Ways to Preserve Self in Your Marriage
Habit 5a: Understanding Attraction – Desire – Lust
Habit 5b – How to Focus Desire in Your Marriage
Habit 5c – Seven Practical Ways to Redeem Your Desire