This is the first post in a series on nurturing your marriage so it will last.
When I was in La Jolla, California, last weekend, it seemed weddings were popping up everywhere. I even saw one newly married couple emerge from a church Saturday afternoon and another bride and groom leaving the same church later in the day.
Early in the evening, I walked from my hotel down to the beach, and within minutes another wedding party began arriving. I sat on a bench and watched as a couple with whom I have no connection whatsoever joined their lives together in front of family and friends at a beach on the Pacific Ocean.
It seems unlikely that weddings will ever go out of style.
But marriage . . .
Marriage is a different thing.
The Decline of Marriage
On Saturday evening, I overheard a conversation between a young man and woman at a local coffee shop in downtown La Jolla. They seemed to be on something resembling a first date. A large part of the conversation revolved around marriage. The man had attended the wedding of a friend earlier in the day and was supposed to attend another wedding the next day. He couldn’t comprehend why all of his friends were getting married and had tried to talk some of them out of it. The man wasn’t opposed to marriage necessarily. But it seemed crazy to him that a young couple could enter into such an arrangement at twenty-three or twenty-five years old.
Though weddings are as popular as ever, the institution of marriage itself seems to be crumbling. More people are delaying marriage. Fewer people expect their marriages will last a lifetime. A smaller percentage of children arrive at adulthood with an understanding of what a stable, lasting marriage looks like or requires.
On Nurturing Your Marriage
It is not my intention to defend the institution of marriage. It has quite a track record, and needs no defense from me. My assumption is that the regular readers of this blog generally appreciate the value of marriage. You probably believe that it’s better to have a marriage that lasts than one that doesn’t. If not, we can talk. What might not be so clear to us is how to make a marriage that lasts.
What I want to do over the next few weeks each Wednesday is to share some reflections on nurturing your marriage so that it will grow and last.
Some Caveats
I do not write as a professional in the field, and I have no intention whatsoever of becoming a relationships guru. Instead I write with the experience of one who was married at the age of twenty-one and will soon reach the point where I’ve been married half my life. I write as one who knows that marriages are never perfect, but believes they can and (in most cases) should last a lifetime.
As I write, I remain conscious of the fact that I have had advantages in my marriage that others may not have had. I have been surrounded with great examples. And I am painfully aware of my own shortcomings, and of the patience and understanding it takes to be married to me.
I am also aware that some readers have experienced or are currently experiencing broken relationships. It is not my intent to judge, only to share reflections based on my experience. I trust that my friends who have experienced divorce understand, perhaps better than I do, the value of two people learning together to make a sustainable marriage.
So, with those caveats in mind, I invite you to continue this series on nurturing your marriage.
Continue the series: What Makes Marriage Work? It All Depends on One Thing