Reading time: 4 minutes.
A few years ago, a good friend suggested that I complete an in-depth Enneagram inventory so that we could discuss the results together. I was going through a particularly difficult time, and he thought the results of the inventory could be enlightening for me. Initially, I resisted, but Darrin kept insisting, so that eventually, I took the test.
My resistance was two-fold. At first glance, the Enneagram seemed more occult than Christian. I’ve heard many Christians raise the same objection. But my trust in Darrin was such that he quickly overcame that objection. My larger objection, which I never voiced to him, was that taking a personal inventory and discussing it with him made me feel vulnerable.
Answering a 120-question inventory was fine. I could do that.
Receiving a confidential analysis of my personal style was mildly intimidating, but ultimately harmless. I could accept or reject the results as desired.
But discussing those results with someone I knew and loved? That was potentially threatening to my self-image. It could destroy the narrative I had created and projected about my own life.
So, I kept putting Darrin off. I didn’t totally reject the idea, because I would have had to explain why. Instead, I would say, “Yeah, I’ve been really busy. Hopefully, I can find time soon.” One time I said that, and Darrin responded, “Dude, it takes 15 minutes. I think you can find time. Take the test!” That night, I took the test.
This is not a commercial for the Enneagram. Actually, it’s not about the Enneagram at all. I share this experience only because the Enneagram was the catalyst for a new phase in my spiritual journey. It revealed something I needed to know about myself—something I would not have discovered on my own.
The Enneagram revealed to me that the primary driving force in my life was fear.
Of course, I immediately rejected that analysis. I didn’t see myself as a fearful person. The objections came to mind quickly: I was a successful author, an accomplished platform speaker, an effective nonprofit executive and leader, a highly-skilled editor. Once, I had even quit my stable, comfortable job to move to another city with a group of friends to plant a church. You can’t do those types of things when you’re driven by fear, I told myself.
But after about five minutes of talking with Darrin about my Enneagram results, he began to help me see the truth they revealed—the many ways that fear had shaped my life. This helped kickstart a new journey of self-awareness, deeper spirituality, and greater faith in my life.
In the more than five years since I took that inventory, I’ve learned a lot about faith and doubt, fear and courage. In the coming weeks, I want to share in this space everything I’ve learned about overcoming fear and letting faith be the guiding force in your life. I hope you’ll pull up a chair and join the conversation—like we’re sitting under the lights out on the patio with our favorite beverages.
Two things I know for sure: (1) Jesus did not live in fear, and (2) he doesn’t want his disciples to live in fear either. But to vanquish fear in your life, you have to recognize the source of your fear. That’s where we’ll turn in the next installment of this series.
If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to sign up for my email updates (on this page or on my home page), so you won’t miss the next segment in this series. In that email, I’ll share additional information designed to help you put faith over fear in your life.
Thanks for spending a few minutes with me. I never take that for granted. Let’s do it again soon.
“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.” (Luke 12:32)