“Do babies get all the attention?”
That was my four-old-daughter’s question to me after we returned from a visit with my oldest daughter, her husband, and their new baby.
I stopped what I was doing, looked her in the eyes, and said, “Yes, babies get a lot of attention—but that doesn’t mean four-year-olds are any less special.”
My youngest stopped short of wishing to be a baby again—because, really, what self-respecting four-year-old would wish for that? But it was clear that she longed for the days when she could always command the kind of attention that her baby niece does.
The Significance of Paying Attention
Giving attention is a full-sum game. Either you do or you don’t. There is no half-attention. Just ask a four-year-old.
We’re all paying attention to someone or something. And the things we give attention to end up shaping our lives, for better or worse. If we are not intentional about choosing what we pay attention, others will choose for us.
So, what should we pay attention to?
Think on These Things
The apostle Paul helped answer that question in Philippians 4:8, where he said, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (niv).
Now, at first, it might seem from this verse that the apostle Paul was a proponent of the power of positive thinking—and he certainly did skew positive in this verse. But think for a moment about that first admonition: “whatever is true . . . think about such things.” Focusing on truth is what keeps us rooted in reality.
Paying Attention to God
For example, we certainly want to focus on God. As we do so, we need to be sure that we are paying attention to what is true about God. It is all too easy to serve a false God made in our own image—a God who thinks exactly like we do, loves everything we love, hates everything we hate, and takes our side in every discussion or argument.
When we seek the truth about an infinite God, however, it will not lead us to self-righteous arrogance—as if no one knows God like we know God. Even though God has revealed himself to us, we must stop far short of thinking we have perfect knowledge of God. Knowing God is a pursuit, not just of a lifetime, but of eternity. So, if we’re truly seeking what is true about God, we must remain open to the fact that there is always more to learn.
Take a moment to think of three to five people who know you well. Have you ever stopped to consider that, while each of those people truly knows you, none of them views you exactly the same way? Each of them sees their own version of you, and none of those versions are exactly alike. Even those who know you best may not know you as well as you know yourself. And the only one who has a completely accurate image of you is God.
It’s the same way when we try to think about God. We can truly know God, but we can never know God exhaustively. There is always more to learn. God is infinite, and no matter where we are in our walk with God, God can still surprise us and reveal more of the divine nature to us—if we’re paying attention.
Paying Attention to Self
While paying attention to God is certainly a high priority, it is also important to pay attention to ourselves. It’s not because we are the center of the universe or because we are more important than anyone else. We need to pay attention to ourselves, because all of our interactions—with God, our loved ones, our neighbors, and even those we perceive as our enemies—are filtered through our perspective.
So, it’s important to think about ourselves truthfully. This includes seeing ourselves the way God sees us—as one who is made in God’s image, deeply loved, and included in God’s plan of redemption. We can truthfully acknowledge the gifts God has given us and the ways we are unique from others.
At the same time, being truthful about ourselves involves recognizing that there is a shadow side, a dark side. It includes being honest with ourselves about the ways we are still broken, still hurt others, and still need Christ’s healing and redemption in our lives.
There is nothing to fear from being truthful with ourselves and God about who we are right now. It’s not a surprise to God. God’s just waiting for us to see it ourselves, so that we can begin working on it together.
Paying Attention to Others
And the work of paying attention doesn’t end with paying attention to God and ourselves. We’re also called to love our neighbors and our enemies, and that requires paying attention as well.
The essence of spiritual wellness is the love of God, and we can only truly love that which we pay attention to. So, attention takes it place, alongside awareness as the second pillar of spiritual wellness.
This is the second post in a series on The Pillars of Spiritual Wellness.